You Are Not Depressed
Unadressed trauma, conditioning, subconscious programming, societal and media influence, and emotional repression are all ways people have learned to forget about themselves. We aren’t taught to choose ourselves. From the beginning we didn’t know we had the option. We aren’t taught to know ourselves and create boundaries and a life around what we know of in our hearts. We are taught to carry on patterns and cycles of trauma that have been wreaking havoc between generations. Trauma has lineage. And that lineage thrives as we continue to abandon our own souls as we are continually taught that anything outside of feeding that lineage is selfish. Weird. Strange. “Out there”.
We are also taught that if we experience any kind of despair at any point in our lives, we have mental illness. Things like divorce, death, job loss, and other major life changes are often accompanied by deep, sometimes long-standing, emotional pain; grief, sadness, hopelessness, lethargy, anger, feeling lost, etc. Our society is so quick to label these things as depression or anxiety, followed by drug prescriptions and often harmful interactions with a mental healthcare system that doesn’t understand the vast complexity of the human existence. A healthcare system that only recognizes you as your mind, and doesn’t understand (or refuses to based on potential financial and power struggles) that you experience EVERYTHING through the body. And that within that body is a highly intelligent soul that is begging for you to listen THROUGH that change, loss, grief, sadness, hopelessness, anger, feeling lost, etc.
Often clients share with me that after experiencing devastating loss, they “thought the hard part was over”. Months later they’re still dealing with deep emotional pain and grief. The processing of life after loss surprising felt much more difficult for them than the actual loss itself. They also share things about feeling like speaking their truth to someone might cause their entire life to fall apart. That expressing what they really want might create so much change that life as they know it would forever be different.
What if your life needs to fall apart? What if your chronic despair is an invitation to nurture, love, forgive, and return to your self? What if your ongoing grief is asking you to care for your chronically broken heart and honor what has been lost? What if the anxiety you’re experiencing is just your soul asking for your attention after being covered up by years/lifetimes of trauma, programming, and repressed emotion? What if through those difficult places is where you will meet your truest self again?
If you continue to abandon your self, you will continue to suffer. You are not depressed. You are not anxious. You are missing your self. You are yearning for you. So choose your self. Over and over and over again. It’s ok to feel, and it’s ok to feel intensely. It doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. It means you’re healing.