The Power in Grief
December for me was a month for befriending grief. Experiencing grief isn’t a new experience for me but the intention to which I chose to dive in to it was. Leaning in to and expressing my grief has been a powerful catalyst for growth, and in allowing the grief to move through me there continues to be what I deem as sacred space created within me to continue to move toward my truth with conviction and reverence.
The thing about grief is that it often remains unexpressed, confused as sadness, and sometimes turns in to resentment if left untouched. This is mostly due to our society lacking the understanding of acknowledging the weight of loss and honoring the parts of our internal and external worlds that have been lost or were needed and never truly had or experienced. Many cultures outside of our own have grief ceremonies that last hours, sometimes days, to outwardly express their pain through emotional expression, movement, altars honoring who/what was lost, and celebration of life afterwords. It is understood in these cultures that honoring loss in any capacity is a human necessity.
The other thing about grief is that it is difficult to step in to who you truly are and integrate your inner work without grieving who you used to be, what you needed and never had, and what could have been. To not feel deeply the pain of loss is to allow yourself to relive the trauma, having the opposite affect of moving you further and further away from your truest self.
I’ve grieved a lot in the last year, specifically the last three months of 2018. A beloved dog, a relationship, an idea of what I thought my life was going to look like, dynamics and affirmation that I needed growing up that I never received, a house, connections I missed out on based on certain circumstances, and truly an entire identity. To my surprise, through my grief, I found forgiveness- something I have rarely been able to cultivate.
It’s taken consistent inner work, friends and practitioners who can hold space and reflect my story and my truth and my belief systems back to me, and plant medicine. The work has opened my heart in a way that I didn’t know was possible. In some ways that I didn’t even know I needed until it happened. It has shown me that freedom is a result of taking a running leap of faith in to truth rather than something you seek in a calculate way in its own autonomy. It has shown me that love in all capacities is worth the risk of connecting to my heart and revealing what’s in side of that space, allowing myself to be seen in all of my vulnerabilities despite the outcome. It has shown me that the more that I practice creating space to connect to myself, the easier it is to stay with my truth through conflict and suffering, remaining in presence. I am grateful for my grief, and I am grateful for my tenacity in diving in to it to honor the most important aspect to my healing: me.
Recently my friend replied to a personal story that I shared with her with this:
“What a beautiful story. All the truth and emotion. The pain and the love.”
Yes. The beauty, truth, emotion, pain, love. Grief. What a way to be in presence. What a way to live. What a way to be here.
Jenny Bremer is a holistic mind body therapist and owner of Remembered Practice in Grand Rapids, MI. Her work is based off of the belief that chronic pain, tension, and general dis-ease in the mind and body are merely red flags that show up as a result of a disconnection from your true self. It is also based off of the belief that in order to begin to work toward truly being well, it is imparetive for every individual to firstly have a safe space to be seen and feel heard. Jenny uses her intuition, John F. Barnes Myofascial Release, holistic mind body counseling, movement, intuitive movement, energetic unwinding, energy work, bodywork, breath work, mindfulness, emotional fluency, and sheer curiosity to meet you where you're at, uncover unconscious belief systems and embodied patterning, and discover the root cause of your suffering. With new awareness, you will reconnect to your own deepest personal truth, wisdom, and innate freedom.