Seeing Ourselves and Each Other
It is constantly affirmed to me in my work with clients, in my own self work, and in just witnessing and experiencing the world that we all just want someone to hear us.
We want someone to see us for who we really are in our core. It is a basic need that we as humans need to survive: connection between our authentic selves. We truly need one another.
I know this because I have wanted and continue to want these things. I know this because for a long time I didn’t feel seen or heard, even when I felt like I was screaming from the rooftops who I was. I know this because there have been times that I felt like I lacked true connection, I felt closed off from love and wondered why I didn’t feel love from other people who’s hearts had been practically barricaded as well. I longed for the holding that is given by someone acknowledging and validating my experience and who I was as a human being on a soul level.
I know we all just want someone to hear and see us because I see the relief on clients’ faces and in their bodies when I listen to hear them rather than to respond. I know this because I often hear clients share with me after a session that they’ve never been able to share something so intimate to their story without it being judged, ridiculed, or used against them to make them believe they were too much or, conversely, not enough. I know this because when I reflect back to people what I see in them and their words and their somatic experience, they light up. They cry with grief and relief because finally they are being seen. They feel a little less alone in their experience.
We need each other you guys. We can not do this life alone. We aren’t meant to. And I can’t help but wonder what it would be like if we all worked a little bit harder to make each other feel safe. Feel seen. Feel heard. It takes work on all of our parts. It takes dismantling our associated stories, feeling our bodies, somatic work to unwind said stories from being imprinted on our nervous system. It takes a lot of self work that can be painful, even scary. Most importantly, it takes a willingness to do so.
But with that, we get to love each other again. We get to be kind again, to ourselves and to each other. We get to create a life and a community that is more in line with the person we discover at the core of ourselves that laid dormant underneath unconscious belief systems and trauma and wounding. We learn to give again from a place of enoughness, and receive from and in to that place too. There is freedom there.
I feel like that is why I am here. To perpetuate the seeing and hearing of ourselves and each other. I deeply, deeply believe that we are here to witness ourselves and express the authentic being we find within our bodies and our hearts. I deeply, deeply believe that we are here to witness each other too. I honestly can’t come up with any other reason than this one: love.
I used to think truth was the ultimate achievement or thing to work toward, and while I’m committed to it (uncovering it, staying connected to it, speaking it, etc.) I really believe that love is right up there with truth. Perhaps they do a dance together. Because when I see my self in my truth, and I therefore can see you in yours, isn’t that love?
Anyway…just something I’ve been pondering and feeling through lately. What do you think?