Are your healing tools actually serving you?

I’m entirely sick of the Enneagram.

I’m even sick of the Five Energetic Personality Patterns, which my clients know has been integral in my own personal work as well as the work we’ve done together. I’m sick of Myers Briggs and Human Design. And I’m entirely done with labels of any kind relating to diagnosis and trauma.

I’m sick of all of these things because of the degree to which I see people identifying with them. Using these things as identity markers that only create boxes around who we think we are rather than anchoring us in the truth of our being. Boxes that encourage us to forget about our magic, our potent creative energy, our present conscious awareness, our love, our power, our potential, and our soul.

I know many of these systems were actually created to REMIND us of such things. They were intended to remind us when we’re in pattern and how to get out of it. How to return to self.  They were intended to be tools. And yet they actually often become a part of the ego.

All I see in these things lately are excuses. Ways of justifying behavior without the action or internal fire needed to create meaningful change. Scapegoats. Reasons to stay safely in the confines of an identity you’ve unconsciously constructed for your self with the belief that that identity is protecting you, that the reality you exist in based on those belief systems and identity markers is actually real.

In truth, these structures often reinforce the barriers that keep you separate from who and what you are. They keep you in a place of ego.

I used to use the Enneagram all the time in my work with people. It’s still sometimes discussed in session. People often say “I caught my self doing x, y, and z again because I’m a 7” or “it’s so hard to stop doing this thing because I’m a 9”. While I recognize how knowing what number you tend to run as helpful with working toward getting out of pattern and returning to self, it’s not a conversation I want to spend much time on anymore.

Let’s face it; you know your patterns. You know how you show up in stress. You know what’s not working for you. Perhaps assigning these structures and personality systems to that knowing keeps you in a box of personality and ego rather that freeing you from it. Perhaps focusing on which energy pattern or Enneagram number you tend to run is distracting when all you really need to know is:

If you are in pattern you are not in presence. If you are not in presence, you are not living from your heart or soul’s truth but rather from a place of ego that is largely based in outdated conditioning and unconscious belief systems and behavior.

I am not saying these structures are all bad. What I am doing is asking you to question how much you’re allowing your self to IDENTIFY with them. 

Get out of your head and in to your body. In to your heart. Get in to a feeling state. That is how you access and live from your truth. You can’t logic your way in to your truth, your purpose, or your freedom. You have to feel. And to feel, you must return to presence. You must bring your awareness to your body, your heart, and your core. You don’t need to know that you are a 9w8 whose currently disintegrated in to their 6 and running their leaving pattern with a side cocktail of anxiety and depression and childhood trauma. You need to know that these are all signs that you are not living in line in some way with what you’re soul is asking you to do, or how it’s inviting you to be. Those things are not who you are, they are the gateway to remembering who you are.

There’s always going to be something else. There’s always going to be new systems, new discoveries, new trends in healing that people will latch on to until the next thing and the next thing and the next. But they’re all in essence aiming for the same thing: returning you to self. Clearing the fog and the mud and the gunk that keeps you from seeing and living from your truest iteration of self. Reminding you that your ego is just an attachment to a person or thing or idea that your brain has identified as “safe”.

You get to choose how you get back to your self, so make sure your tools are actually serving you.